By Decree of the
KinderGuardians

The content within this realm is protected by the Old Laws. We do not rely on the FBI, for their jurisdiction ends where our bandwidth begins.

IF ANY OF YOU EVEN TRIES TO DISOBEY. TAKE A LOOK:

"THE PUNISHMENT WILL NOT BE LITIGATION.
THE PUNISHMENT WILL BE DISCONNECTION."

KINDERGARDEN
OF THE STARS

PRESS START TO ENTER THE CHAOS

SELECT YOUR FIGHTER

LVL 20

The SysAdmin

Studying Informatics. Keeps the WiFi alive. Speaks in Python and sarcasm. Likely awake at 4 AM fixing a bug that didn't exist yesterday.

Intelligence: 100%

Sleep: 12%

Role: Server Lord

LVL 21

The Alchemist

Chemistry/Physics. The kitchen is their lab. Do not touch the Tupperware in the fridge; it might be lunch, it might be a new element.

Danger: High

Cooking: Experimental

Role: Explosions

LVL 20

The Bio-Guardian

Umwelt & Bioresourcen. Yells at you for not crushing the cardboard boxes. Growing a jungle in their room.

Sustainability: Max

Plant Count: 47

Role: Recycling Police

LVL 22

The Night Owl

DJ & Professional Dancer. If the floor is shaking, it's not an earthquake, it's just Tuesday night practice.

Rhythm: Unmatched

Volume: 110%

Role: Vibe Curator

LVL 19

The Polyglot

Languages. Can apologize for the noise in 5 different languages. Translates menu items for the rest of the crew.

Charisma: High

Vocabulary: Infinite

Role: Diplomat

LVL ??

The Enigma

Studienrichtung: [REDACTED]. Has been enrolled since the dawn of the Bologna Process. Leaves cryptic, ungraded lecture notes on the kitchen table.

ECTS Credits: ERROR

Sanity: Unquantifiable

Role: The Wildcard

MINI-GAME: DODGE THE DEADLINES

Use LEFT and RIGHT arrows to survive.

Score: 0

START GAME

?? RESTRICTED AREA ??

By Decree of theKinderGuardians